I know I should have something uplifting and moving to say on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. But I don't. He sort of cornered the market in the uplifting and moving speech department.

So it's just another outrage to get off my chest. I'm driving home from work and I look at the car in front of me - an Acura SUV - and I realize I'm watching a movie on a little screen inside the car. I haven't been living in a cave - I've seen the commercials. But to actually see one of these monuments to our boob-tube culture is something else. So kids today can't be made to sit still or be quiet for ANY length of time? A video is now required travel gear to keep a kid behaved in the back seat? How's this for an ad campaign -- Don't worry. They'll never ask "are we there yet" again. Oh wait, maybe that was the commercial I saw.

So now we have Suburban Ussault Vehicles with a motion picture screen between the heads of the driver and the front passenger. Remember, I love television. But good god what is wrong with this picture? If you have to hypnotize your offspring while you drive, it's time to get some serious counseling. And how do you drive with that racket going on anyway - I for one think that would be far more distracting than it is to drive while talking on a cell phone. Maybe there should be a new law.

Speaking of laws, Fear Factor makes me sick to my stomach just reading about the shit they come up with. Literally. Who are the people behind these grotesque stunts? Were they abused early in life? Tonight's episode description from this week's tv guide: "Contestants must consume balut - eggs containing partially developed duck embryos - as well as liquiefied liver and dead silk worms in brine." Ya learn somethin' new every day. And to think I might have gone my entire life not knowing what balut was. Please -- just say no.